Comment on English 181 posts by Eric Sopshin

By Eric Sopshin. Originally published at Comments for Elizabeth's Journal.

Elizabeth’s analysis of articles about The Yellow Wallpaper is very well thought out. She picked articles that are both relevant and informative, and then discussed these opinions compared to her own. Not only does she state her opinion, but she explains why her’s differs from those of the writer. Overall, Elizabeth creates a post that shows a deep understanding and knowledge of the source text. My favorite part is when she comments that the article was a “weak analysis”. It showed that Elizabeth is strong in her beliefs and isn’t afraid to state them. Great job Elizabeth!!

Comment on What’s Wrong with the Yellow Wall-Paper? by Lina Jowhar

By Lina Jowhar. Originally published at Comments for My Creative Space.

I really enjoyed your analysis of the Coach. His career was really impressive as well as all that he helped the other students accomplish their goals. I like that you analyzed his life in commemoration of his recent death. I liked the quotes you used to make the reader understand the type of person he was. My favorite quote you gave as an example was the quote about one not being proud of doing good right. The Coach inspires others. Especially when they are people of younger age, they need motivation because it is so easy to be discouraged. The quotes you picked were really appropriate for a college audience because most people have done a sport or some sort of team activity, which motivates others to accomplish their goals. I definitely think you should read over your blog posts because there are some words that are missing from the sentence, which are vital. When you use quotations marks in some instances, you put a period in the quotation marks and not after the parenthetical citations.

(comment for your blog from February 22, so assignment for March 1)

Comment on The Yellow-Wall Paper Analysis by Neeraj Chawla

By Neeraj Chawla. Originally published at Comments for Enigma.

Another great blog post! I really like how you start off the essay, making the immediate comparison of the yellow wallpaper with the author and her relation to the story. You go straight into it and begin the analysis. You give good examples and a very elaborate justification of your ideas which makes the read interesting and thought provoking. It isn’t boring like the standard essay! One thing I think you can work on is making comparisons to what the narrators think about women in general, not just about the narrator herself and how she relates to the protagonist of the yellow wallpaper. A more critical analysis in a broader context would certainly help. Otherwise, great read!

Comment on Imagination and Sex: “The Yellow Wallpaper” by Brittany Smith

By Brittany Smith. Originally published at Comments for Perspectives .

I thought that Abigail’s essay was very well written. I like the point of view that she wrote from, seeing that the narrator views women as being a creative outlet. She did a good job backing up her argument with examples from the text that exemplify to the reader that this is plausible. It was nice to see someone write on the same prompt that I did but see it from an alternate view point. I could tell that she thought about what she wanted to say in the way that her sentences were structured and from the way in which she ended the essay.

Comment on Emotivation by Angelique Sargent

By Angelique Sargent. Originally published at Comments for Zach Cole's Site.

Hey Zach! To start, once again, I think your structure is effective. You’ve got some nice short paragraphs mixed in with longer ones. The pictures of Eric Thomas help the reader put a face to the name. I like the quote on sentiment by June Howard you start with. It’s a fascinating quote that you explain well. You go on to mention that we all experience emotion and sentimentality in the same way as our peers as well as previous generations. I do agree that emotions transcend location and time and are aspects of human existence that the majority of us identify with; however, I disagree that we all experience such emotions in the same way. The same stimulus can elicit a multitude of responses that depend on things such as personality and experiences. Also, I think that there are aspects of writing that depend on context that change over time. For example, writers such as Harriet Jacobs might view their writings as indecorous, but surely men and women of the twenty-first century have read far more scandalous pieces of literature (50 Shades of Grey being a recent example). Just some food for thought.

On Eric Thomas, you do a really good of job of describing him in a way that is active and lively. I like how you illustrate the way Thomas gives new meaning to commonly clichéd expressions. I do wish you would elaborate more on how “hard work, success, motivation, and passion” seem unreachable. In what ways are they unreachable? For example, as a college student attending a prestigious university, you have achieved most if not all of those things. What contexts are you speaking of? In the paragraph where you describe Thomas, you may want to mention his emphatic manner of speaking before you mention the “wheezing” and “out-of-breath” descriptions as to avoid unflattering imagery.

Lastly, you did a good job of expressing the importance of the actions we make. No matter how many inspiring talks a person attends by Eric Thomas or some other motivational speaker, at the end of the day, we are the only ones who can make something of ourselves. A way of tying Howard’s quote back into the article and making your conclusion stronger might be to expand a little more on the “psychological response” his talks create for you and expand on what they make you feel and why they make you feel that way.

Overall, I think you raise some really interesting points that could lead to further discussion!

Comment on Brandon Stanton is a Master of Sentimentalism by Nihar Joshi

By Nihar Joshi. Originally published at Comments for Caitlin Cheeseboro.

Hi Caitlin! I really liked the idea of your blogpost, I certainly believe Humans of New York has become a platform through which the smallest things in life touch us deeply. I appreciate the build up in your writing, however, according to me your writing could have benefited from bringing in the sentimentalism a bit sooner as it is the main idea in the blogprompt. Other than that, I think your essay is really interesting and very well written. Great work!

Comment on Man vs. Wo-man by Crawford Schneider

By Crawford Schneider. Originally published at Comments for Jessie's Blog.

Jess,
I thoroughly enjoyed your essay on the role of women in “The Yellow Wall Paper”. You make a very convincing argument that there are subtle references in the story that demean women. I think your introductory paragraph could be improved slightly. It seems as though you took a bit to get into the flow of your ideas and as a result the first few sentences are slightly awkward. I also think your essay could have benefitted from more quotes and direct examples from the text. You start out strong when you point out the importance of the word “unreasonably” in the first paragraph, continue that throughout. Well done.

Comment on Sentiment by Jessica Leone

By Jessica Leone. Originally published at Comments for Crawford's Blog.

I really love how you explained the word sentiment through political context. My favorite line is when mention the history of sentiment through history, “Whether it was Shakespeare forcing us to understand and undertake each and every one of our abilities to love unconditionally in Romeo and Juliet, or whether it was Harriet Jacobs forcing us to comprehend the incomprehensible horrors of slavery,…” I think this was a really clever way to shape the word. Especially because the best way to understand a concept is with direct examples. Your essay then develops to compare Obama and JFK’s speeches, touching on their influence and impact through the idea of sentiment. The arguments for both speeches were thoroughly explained although I do think you could have added more comparing and contrasting. In addition, I would like to see a greater conclusion that would reflect the question, why is this important now ? and what is the larger issue behind sentiment. Really cool and interesting take on the word and I love the mesh of subjects!

Comment on What’s Wrong with the Yellow Wall-Paper? by Joey Shapiro

By Joey Shapiro. Originally published at Comments for My Creative Space.

Lina, you really did a good job of pointing out the problems in the dynamic between the narrator and her husband and the oppression women faced during the 1890s as subordinate individuals as well. Just a question about this sentence “Using the word unreasonably infers that the anger has been building up over the years, and she cannot express her true feelings to her.” Does unreasonably in it of itself necessarily mean that her anger has been building up over years? I’m just wondering why she believes her anger is unreasonable. Also. sometimes it was a little confusing with the switching of pronouns and form singular to plural which made kind of hard. Overall, good job, you made some great points and discussed some really interesting issues.

Comment on Blog Post: Themes of Sexism in The Yellow Wallpaper by brandon butz

By Brandon Butz. Originally published at Comments for Adarsh Bindal.

The observation about the narrator not being identified is great. It does suggest that the narrator could be any woman. Also, you did a great job noting how the setting and time impact societal views regarding the role of women. Finally, mentioning the woman behind the wallpaper as an allegory for women in general is impactful. As far as Rhetorical Grammar, watch the run-on sentences. “She disagrees with their treatment when they try to confine her, as she thinks she will benefit from more social interaction than confinement, but she bows to their will because she feels like her opinion is inferior in some way, and does not mention it” is a run on sentence.